A couple of weeks ago, I shared a message with The Young Professionals regarding relationships. I gave several points of what I have seen complicate romantic relationships. Wanted to bring it up again as a refresher. I know I have a lot of YPs that read the blog (THANK YOU). I’ve seen too many of my friends bash their heads in while dating. God doesn’t want us to be confused.
When I was single I wanted to be loved so bad. I wanted the adrenaline rush that infatuation gives. I wanted the Jon Mayer songs. I wanted the Hollywood romance. I desired a relationship so bad that I would lose myself and get swept away in a fleeting romance that had no substance. I broke girls hearts.
It was never my aim to hurt these girls, but the intoxicating nature of romance blinded me to the big picture. I’d often jump too fast into these feelings and without really thinking of the end picture. I’d chase a feeling without being realistic about where I was at and what I really wanted.Too often, I did what felt good and fell in love with pop culture and the Hollywood dream of romance. Chasing these fleeting flings often left me frustrated, confused, and alone.
Here are some things that complicate romantic relationships:
Trying to Love out of Brokenness – Be careful not to love out of insecurity. That type of love can often lead to a love that is needy and selfish.
Rationalizing – When your gut/instinct is giving your reservations on that person that you’re pursuing. We can often times rationalize our way into a relationship we have no business being in. You’ll look for the good in a person to mask their glaring character flaws. What happens is you enter into a relationship with someone with the hopes of their potential and not being honest about the reality of where they’re at.
Not Knowing Who You Are – We can spend so much time and energy trying to find the right person that we can lose ourselves in the process. Find yourself. Find out who you are in Jesus. You’re identity should be in Him!
Attraction Based Solely on Physical Appearance – Just because someone is cute and loves Jesus doesn’t necessarily mean that you’re compatible with them. Do they have any substance and depth? You fall head over heels and create all these soul ties and find out in time that their core believe don’t compel, but repel you.
Rebounding – Using a new relationship to get over the pain and emptiness of a previous one. You get lost in the infatuation and adrenaline of something new and use it as a white out to blot out a past romance that still weighs heavily on you.
Exposing Your Skeletons/Tackle Your Monsters – What are your secrets? Those current dark hidden struggles you have? We all have insecurities, fears, failures, painful memories, skeletons, all that unattractive stuff is what we try to hide in the back of the closet. But just because you pretend your monsters don’t exist doesn’t mean they’re just going to magically go away. Tackle your monsters now. Don’t let them crush your relationship later.
My hope is that some of these points help you and give you wisdom before you enter into a relationship. God doesn’t want us to be brokenhearted. Be accountable to others. Find your identity in Jesus and enjoy dating!
I’m Harold Dorrell Briscoe. Thanks for reading.