For those who consistently watch porn: (I’m not just talking daily. I’m talking about every couple of months coming back to it) It is NOT just a visual thing! You don’t stare at your computer, engrossed in pornographic videos because you haven’t found your wife yet. One of the reasons why you do it is because the fantasy you live in is both intoxicating and invigorating. Pornography allows you to temporarily live in a fantasy filled with adventure, dominance, control, and confidence.
One of the reasons why you go back to these videos and websites is because you are not living up to the potential and purpose God has for you. You go back to that website because you’re flat bored, alone, and empty on the inside.
In pornography, men will SUBSTITUTE themselves in the place of what they are seeing. What they see projects a false sense of confidence and control. It’s tied to who you are as a man. Things not going well on the job? “Well, at least I’m in control in this arena…In this video I call the shots.” Can’t muster up the courage to talk to that girl? “I have all the courage and confidence I need in this alternate reality I’ve set up.”
It get’s worse too….your sexual desire becomes more and more twisted as time goes on. Child pornography is one of the fastest growing businesses online, with estimated annual revenue of $3 billion!
Porn is the fruit of brokenness.The brokenness remains because you’re locked in the dungeon of shame. Shame is the jail. You have to understand that Jesus’ death took away the sin and the shame!
HOW DO WE WIN?
1. BECOME FULLY EXPOSED – CONFESSION
Again, shame is the jail that keeps the power of sin over your life. You say, “I can’t tell anyone about this, its so embarrassing. I’m ashamed of this!” Let me ask you a question. What do you do when you’re ashamed of something? Probably what our ancestors Adam and Eve did…HIDE from God. They covered themselves and hid. You cover, duck, and hide because you’ve traded God’s love for your own pleasure. You cannot have true intimacy with shame. Why? Because intimacy is to be fully known. Shame compels you to keep things hidden. Shame is a secret; it says, “if you only knew the truth you wouldn’t love me.”
You must get out of the Garden of Eden thinking and embrace the truth that occurred in another Garden; The Garden of Gethsemane. Where Jesus kneeled in submission and was open and honest with His Father about His struggles. It was in that garden where Jesus said…”If it’s possible take this cup of suffering away from me.” He was authentic and sincere with His Father because the identity of his sonship was never in question. Which is the reason why he opened up! He went to the father. Because he was the son and he knew he could be completely open. Sometimes we don’t see ourselves properly. We must see ourselves as sons.
God decided in advance to adopt us into his own family by bringing us to himself through Jesus Christ. This is what he wanted to do, and it gave him great pleasure.
You’ve got to be open about this. Get some mighty men of God around you and be authentic with them. Tell them what you are struggling with. Ask them to help you win! It starts with being fully known though.
2. STOP TRYING TO FIGHT THE SIN!
Fight the good fight for the true faith. Hold tightly to the eternal life to which God has called you, which you have declared so well before many witnesses
-1 Tim 6:12
Porn is the fruit of the problem. Your problem has everything to do with your relationship to the Father. The way out is understanding what my fight is. Fight the fight of faith not of sin. Now I think it’s important to take precautions when dealing with pornography. Get an internet filter on your computer and phone. Let people know your password and give them access to your search history, but make sure you understand that the true fight is having an intimate and dynamic relationship with Jesus. You have to work at that! Your Bible doesn’t magically float up to your bedside when you wake up with your cup of joe and that french vanilla creamer you love. Bethel Music doesn’t pop up in your room and usher you into the presence of God from their new worship album. You’ve got get up and get after it!
3. MASCULINE LOVE
Is another way to get you free from porn. Love from a father. Love from a friend. A lot of times, men will go to pornography because of wounds that have never truly healed. You go there because of the pain you feel from your manhood. Temptation will not get the best of you when you open yourself up to masculine love. You have to allow mighty men in your life to love you and know everything about you. Be open!
Addiction is birthed out of the inability to receive love. Having people in your life is the answer. Real relational context with brothers who are not afraid of your secret. Relationships that feed your soul and fill you up. When you start feeling flat and lonely you better have a brother you can run to you; someone that can give you life. Having a brother that checks up on you and is there for you is not the goal. Having someone there when you fall is not the goal. That someone should be there helping you and investing in you before you fall! Pastor Tim Johnson, said it masterfully, “Don’t call me after you fall. Call me when you’re going through temptation and want to watch porn!”
I’m Harold Dorrell Briscoe. Thanks for reading.